Asking Too Much
by purplepagoda
Summary: What happens when the team finds out that Javier has a daughter, that he has kept a secret for years? Will the team fall apart when the truth comes to light? What will happen if they find out who her mother is? Will all hell break loose?
1. Secret Daughter

Castle is sitting in the seat at the end of Beckett's desk as she starts her day off in the break room with a cup of coffee. Ryan sits at his desk. He looks at his watch, as his partner is notably absent. He pulls the phone out of his pocket, and dials his partner's number. Castle, within earshot listens into the phone call.

"Hey, where are you at?"

"I am on my way, I just had an errand to run."

"At seven thirty in the morning?"

"Hold on a minute," Javier covers the phone with his hand. He says something to the party next to him. After a minute he returns to the line, "I'll be there in ten."

"Whoa! Don't hang up."

"Dude I'm driving."

"Did someone just call you..."

Javier hangs up the phone before Ryan can finish. Ryan looks at his phone in disbelief, and then looks to Castle.

"Unbelievable."

"Your partner hung up on you?" Castle arches his brow.

"That too."

Castle rises from his seat. He moves towards Ryan's desk. "Where is he?"

"He said that he was running an errand."

"At seven thirty in the morning?"

"That was exactly the same response that I had."

"Where do you think he is?"

"Dropping off his kid," Ryan responds, not missing a beat.

"His kid? Ryan what are you talking about? 'Sito doesn't have a kid," Castle tries to reason with him.

"You know, up until about two minutes ago I would have agreed with you."

"What did he say to you?"

Ryan shakes his head, "It isn't what he said to me, it is what I heard someone else say. After he told me to hold on it sounded like he covered up the phone with his hand, but I could still hear him. He told someone that he loved them, and to have a good day."

"So? It could have been Lanie."

"No, it couldn't have," Ryan argues.

"How do you know?"

"Because whoever it was called him dad."

"Maybe you heard wrong. Maybe it was Papi, and not dad. That could mean something very different."

"No, it was definitely a kid calling him dad."

"Ryan you can't really think that he has a kid that we don't know about, do you?"

"I do, now."

"How old?"

"Older. The voice didn't sound like a little kid. It wasn't a baby voice."

"Are you sure?"

"No, but I am going to find out," Ryan vows.

"Do you need help?"

"Only if we keep it on the down low. I don't want him to find out what we're doing."

"Absolutely," Castle nods in agreement.

"And you can't tell Beckett," he adds.

"Why not?"

"First of all, she won't believe it. Second of all, she'll tip him off."

"Okay."

"How do you feel about stake-out's, Castle?"

"I love stake-outs," he smiles.

Beckett returns to the squad room with a cup of coffee, "What do you look so excited about?" she throws her fiancé a questioning look.

"Ryan and I are going to go for cheeseburgers later," Rick lies.

"You do like cheeseburgers."

It's ten minutes before Esposito arrives. He exits the elevator, and heads towards the squad room. His teammates head away from their desks towards the elevator.

"Where is the fire?" he questions.

Ryan shakes his head in frustration, "Dude, if you weren't late you would know."

Ryan, and Beckett slip past Esposito into the elevator. Esposito spins around, and hops back onto the elevator, finding a spot next to Castle.

"Apparently my partner is giving me the cold shoulder," he says loud enough so everyone can hear him, "Castle, you want to fill me in?"

"Triple homicide," Castle answers, briefly.

* * *

By the time Javier gets home it is dark. He enters his apartment, and closes the door, bolting it behind him. He flips on the light, and illuminates the living room. He heads for the kitchen table, and sorts through the mail.

"Princesa estas aqui?"

A door off the living room opens, "I'm just working on my homework," a female voice answers him.

"I won't bother you then," he takes a seat on the couch.

A girl exits the bedroom. She stops behind the couch, and looks at him. She's waves of long dark hair that rest on her shoulders. She has bright eyes, and olive skin. She is wearing a pair of khaki pants, and a navy blue polo with an emblem on it. She is in her early teens, and wears a bracelet on her right wrist.

"It's okay, I needed a break."

He turns, and looks at her. He holds up the remote, and mutes the TV.

"Did you eat, mija? Are you hungry?"

"I didn't eat," she admits.

"Do you want me to make you something?"

"I ordered pizza," she admits.

"Sydney, what did I tell you about ordering food when I'm not home?"

"I waited until you called and said that you were on your way, before I ordered."

He furrows his brow, "Syd, what are you doing here? I thought that you were going to stay with your mom tonight."

"I was."

"What happened?"

"It just didn't work out," she admits.

"She forgot?"

Sydney nods, "Yeah. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. Look, if you want to go stay with her, I can call and straighten all of this out."

"Dad, it's okay."

"Did you talk to her about your plans for this weekend?"

"She was busy," Sydney answers.

"Don't make excuses for her," he warns, "she is an adult."

"I'm not."

"Did you even talk to her, today?" He wonders.

"She sent me a text message earlier."

"So she didn't even call, and talk to you?"

"Dad, it's okay," she insists, moving towards the window. He watches his daughter as she looks out the window.

"You know, if you want we can play Madden, I know that makes you feel better. I might even let you win," he tries to lift her spirits.

"First of all, I am too old for Madden. Second of all, you haven't _let_ me win in three years."

"Please," he begs her.


	2. Betrayal Of Brotherhood

"Dad do you know there is a car parked in front of the building?"

"Sydney, there are a lot of cars parked in front of the building," he points out.

"Unmarked police cars?"

"What are you talking about?"

"See for yourself," she points out the window.

He vacates his seat on the couch, and joins her at the window. He finds a car parked on the opposite side of the street. He instantly recognizes the car. Sydney studies the car, and then looks at him.

"Isn't that your car?"

Castle sits in the passenger's seat of Ryan's squad car. His window is rolled down. He looks at the figures standing in Esposito's window, through a pair of binoculars.

"Ryan we need to move."

"Why, what do you see?"

"He is looking right at us."

"Did you see the kid?"

"Ryan, drive!"

Ryan turns the car on, and speeds away, as Castle tucks the binoculars into the glove compartment. He rolls up his window. They reach a stop sign. Detective Ryan looks over at him.

"Castle, what did you see?"

"A girl."

"A woman?" Ryan questions.

Rick shakes his head, "Nope, a girl."

"How old?"

"You were right, she's not a little kid."

"How old is she?"

He shrugs, "I can't say for sure, but maybe twelve, or thirteen."

Ryan accelerates through the green light, "I can't believe this. My partner of nearly eight years has a kid, and I knew nothing about it."

"Whoa! Ryan don't jump to conclusions."

"Says the man who has an entire novel written about how a murder happened, in his head, before he even sees the body."

"We don't know that it's his daughter. Maybe it is a niece, or a cousin, or a goddaughter."

"That is not what my gut is telling me. Castle what did she look like?"

He frowns, "Like 'Sito," he says quietly.

"Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"Maybe he didn't know," he theorizes.

Ryan nods, "I guess that is possible."

"Maybe he just found out, and he's just not ready to share with the world, yet."

"I don't know, Castle, I feel betrayed. Why wouldn't he tell me? I am his partner."

"You have been to his place. Does he have room for a kid?"

Ryan recollects, "I always thought that he just had a one bedroom."

"But?"

"Next to his bedroom there was another door, it was always locked. I just assumed that it was a closet."

"The girl is at least in her double digits. Do you really believe that your partner would keep that from you?"

Ryan shrugs, "I don't know. Would your partner keep a secret like that from you?"

"My partner is also my fiance, so that scenario is a little different."

"Do you think under any circumstance Beckett would neglect to tell you that she had a kid?"

"No, but like I said my relationship with her is different."

"I agree, but it just isn't something that you neglect to tell your partner."

"Maybe he has a good reason."

Ryan rolls his eyes as he pulls into a parking space, blocks away from Javier's apartment. He puts the car in park, and turns off the engine. He unbuckles his seat belt, and looks at Castle.

"What reason? What reason would he have to hide something like that from his partner?"

"What if he is trying to protect her?"

"From me?" Ryan's voice cracks.

"From unsavory characters. Think about it. Criminals can use kids as leverage. Look at what happened to my daughter. Esposito is probably just trying to keep her safe. Sometimes you have to make difficult decisions to protect the ones that you love."

"I don't buy it," Ryan argues.

"So what is the plan?"

"I am just going to confront him."

"That is a terrible idea," he insists.

"Why?"

"Because you don't have enough evidence."

"What do you want me to do, get a buccal swab?"

"A hair would work, too."

"Could you please just be serious, for a minute?"

"Ryan all of the evidence that you have is circumstantial."

* * *

He sits on his couch, in the middle of his living room. There is a box of pizza in the middle of his coffee table. He looks over at his daughter, who sits at the opposite end of the couch. She stares at the flat screen T.V. in silence. He touches her knee.

"You want more?" He points to the pizza box.

He breaks the trance she's in. She looks over at him, "No, I'm done."

"Do you want me to put the leftovers in your lunch, for tomorrow?"

"Sure," she answers with a solemn look on her face.

"Sydney, are you okay?" he queries.

"Fine," she says, flatly.

"No, you're not. What's going on?"

"I need to go shopping."

"For what? Are your feet growing again?"

"No."

"What do you need?"

"I just need to go shopping," she squirms, as her cheeks turn red.

"For what?"

"Nothing, just forget it."

"You can tell me. If you want something all you have to do is ask."

"It isn't something that I want. It is more of a need," she reveals.

"Just tell me."

"I need to go bra shopping, again."

"Again? What happened to the ones that your mom got for you?"

"They are too small."

"Sydney go finish your homework," he suggests.

"What are you going to do?"

"Call your mom."

"Dad!"

"It's not negotiable," he growls.

She vacates her seat on the couch, and storms out of the room.


	3. Confrontational Truths

The bedroom door slams as she pulls out his phone. He dials a familiar number, and puts it to his ear. She answers after three rings.

"It's getting late is something wrong?"

"It's only eight thirty," he points out.

"Javi you usually don't call this late. What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"Your daughter had a melt down. She just ran to her room crying."

"What did you do to her, now?"

"Me? I didn't do anything. I do whatever she asks me to do. You are the one who won't even take the time out of your busy day to call her, and talk to her."

"So you just called to ream me?"

"No, that isn't why I called."

"So why did you call?"

"Your daughter needs you," he admits.

"Really? She rarely needs me. She has preferred you since the day that she was born."

"She needs you a lot more than she is willing to admit. The fact that you're an absentee parent makes it that much harder for her to admit."

"I am not an absentee parent," she argues.

"When was the last time you went to a parent teacher conference?"

"Her teacher was Mrs. Malone," she recalls.

"That was her fourth grade teacher. She's in the eighth grade now."

"I am sorry."

"I am not the one who needs an apology. Look, I wouldn't be calling you if I thought that I could handle this."

"Handle what?"

"She just informed me that she needs to go bra shopping."

"Bra shopping? I just took her bra shopping a few months ago."

"She said that she outgrew them."

"Oh."

"So will you take her?"

"Yes. I can pick her up after school on Friday."

"I appreciate that. I'll talk to you later."

"Night," she hangs up the phone.

He shoves his cell phone back into his pocket. He vacates his seat on the couch. He grabs the pizza box, and carries it into the kitchen, shoving it into the fridge. He tosses the paper-plates into the trash can, and heads towards his daughter's bedroom. He stops outside of the door, and knocks. He doesn't elicit a response. He takes a deep breath, and twists the knob, pushing the door open. He finds Sydney sitting at her desk, quietly working on homework. The thirteen year old looks up at him. He steps into the bedroom. He kisses her on the forehead. He expects her to scold him, and remind him that she's too old. She doesn't.

"Do you need any help with your homework?"

"No. I'm almost finished."

"I talked to your mom, she's going to pick you up after school on Friday."

"'Kay."

"Look at me, please," he says, softly.

She tilts her chin towards him, "Yes?"

"What's going on with you, lately? You have been quiet the past couple of weeks. Is everything okay?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Don't lie to me," he warns.

"I don't want to talk about it," she admits.

He nods, "Okay. You should probably finish up your homework, and start getting ready for bed."

"Okay."

He kisses her forehead, "Love you."

The following morning Esposito arrives at work on time. He heads into the break room for a cup of coffee. He finds his partner standing in front of the espresso machine.

"Ryan, were you outside my place last night?"

Ryan turns and looks at his partner. "Close the door," he answers, seriously.

Esposito closes one door, while Ryan closes the other. Ryan returns to the center of the room. He stares at his partner with a mix of emotions. He folds his arms across his chest.

Esposito cocks his eyebrow, "Man, what's your problem?"

"How long have we been partners?"

"A long time. Why?"

"You know exactly why."

"No, I don't."

"I _was_ outside your place last night."

"Are you following me now?"

"Javi I know."

"Know what?"

"Cut the crap. I know that you have a daughter."

Esposito stares at his partner, saying nothing.

"You have a daughter, and you never bothered to tell me. Do you have any idea what kind of detriment that does to our partnership? How am I supposed to trust someone who fails to mention such an important detail of their life? I feel completely betrayed. I am totally appalled, and disappointed that you didn't feel like you could trust me to tell me."

"Kevin you have to believe it was never about you. I didn't do this to hurt you. I never told you because I was trying to protect my daughter. I needed to keep her a part of my private life. If anything ever happened to her I couldn't live with myself. I do trust you. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. I couldn't take the risk that someone else would find out. She means everything to me."

"How old is she?"

"She's thirteen," Esposito admits.

"What's her name?"

Esposito's lips curl into a smile, "Sydney."

"Sydney?"

Esposito pulls his phone out of his pocket. He unlocks the screen, and brings up a picture. He hands the phone to Ryan.

"That is my daughter," he reveals.

"She looks a lot like you. What is she like?"

"Amazing. She is an incredibly smart kid."

"What about her mom? What is the story there?"

"She and her mother have an incredibly complicated relationship."

"I can't believe that you have a daughter."

"Most days I don't believe it myself. I go home, and I can't believe that I was given such an incredible kid."

"Does Lanie know about her?"

"Why do you think that I can never make things work with her? I can't move forward with her until I tell her. I can't tell her until I know she's not going anywhere. I am afraid that telling her will make her feel betrayed. I don't want that. I don't want to hurt her."

"Why does she think that it doesn't work?"

"She thinks I am afraid of commitment. I'm not. I am just afraid to introduce my daughter to someone who might not stick around."

"You should tell her, I think she may surprise you."


	4. Unappalled

"Kevin you can't tell anyone."

"Castle already knows. He was with me last night," Ryan reveals.

"Just don't tell anyone else."

"You're not afraid that Castle will tell Beckett?"

"I really can't think about that right now," Esposito's phone buzzes.

"Why not?"

"We have a case," Esposito answers, avoiding the question.

* * *

He's lying in bed in the dark, wide awake. He stares up at the ceiling, and sighs loudly. He hears a groan coming from the other side of the bed.

"Rick, what is bothering you?"

"Nothing, why do you think that something is bothering me?"

"Because you have been over there sighing for the last hour."

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm not. I would just like to get some sleep. It is already after midnight. Just tell me what is on your mind so you'll stop thinking about it. I would like to go to sleep."

"Telling you isn't going to make me stop thinking about it."

"Is it a dilemma that I can help solve?"

"It's not a dilemma. It's just a puzzle."

"Can I help solve it, so that I can go to sleep?"

"I don't think so."

"You want to tell me what it is about?"

"I am not supposed to discuss it with you."

"What are you talking about?" She rolls towards him.

"I was sworn to secrecy."

"By whom?"

"Ryan."

"Ryan? What did he swear you to secrecy about? You might as well tell me, because you know that I will figure it out eventually."

"I am just amazed how people always find a way to surprise us. Just when you think that you have gotten to know someone you find out something about them that changes everything you thought you knew."

"Can you be more specific?"

"It is just so hard for me to imagine," he admits.

"What?"

"I can't tell you," he reminds her.

"Rick, I am not playing this game. I have been awake since four o'clock this morning. Tell me what it is so we can put this to rest, please," she insists, impatiently.

"It's about 'Sito."

"What about him?"

"Do you know that he has a kid?"

"What?!"

"He has a kid."

"Castle, don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not."

"Clearly, you are delirious."

"I'm not," he disagrees.

"What makes you think, for a second that Javier Esposito, bachelor extraordinaire has a child?"

"I saw her with my own eyes."

"Is this one of those times where you see something, and make up an entire story in your head that seems logical to you, but is in fact completely false?"

"No, this is not one of those times."

"Just because you saw a kid that looks like him does not automatically mean that it is his kid."

"You do not even know in what context I saw her."

"So tell me."

"Ryan overheard a conversation the other day, while he was on the phone with Esposito. He thought he heard a kid in the background that called Javier, dad. I told him he was crazy, but I like any true friend would do, I agreed to assist him in his investigation. We followed him home the other night."

"That's where you were the other night? You were parked in front of Javier's apartment? Did you actually see a kid, or is this all just supposition?"

"Ryan and I were parked on the street. I had binoculars."

"So you were looking into Javi's apartment? Rick, that is an invasion of privacy on so many levels. I think that you owe the man an apology."

"I think that he owes all of us an apology."

"What makes you say that?"

"I saw her in the window."

"You saw her?"

"And she spotted me."

"Castle, I don't know what you think you saw, but..."

He cuts her off, "It doesn't matter what I think I saw, because the next day Ryan confronted Javier about it. Javier admitted to it."

"You're saying that Javi has a child?"

"He has a thirteen year old daughter," Castle confirms.

"Maybe he didn't tell you because he just found out about her," Kate suggests.

"Nope. He's known about her from day one. He has been a part of her life the entire time that we have known him. He has been keeping her from us all this time."

"So now that you've told me can I go to sleep?" she rolls back over.

"What?!" His voice cracks, "I just told you that 'Sito has a thirteen year old daughter that he never mentioned to any of us, why are you not outraged? Why don't you feel completely betrayed?"

"I am, and I do, but I am too exhausted to discuss this any further. I am sure that Javi had his reasons. Did you ever stop and think that he is just trying to protect her?"

"Yep, and that isn't why he never told us."

"What is your theory on why he has never told us?" She questions knowing she will not be permitted to sleep until he is finished.

"You are absolutely right, that is part of the reason, but not all of it. I think that the reason he never told us was because of her mother. I think he doesn't want us to know who she is. Maybe he is trying to protect her, I don't know."

"Do you have any idea how incredibly crazy you sound right now?"

"If he was just trying to protect his daughter he would have confided in his partner. After everything they have been through together, he would have mentioned it to Ryan. He didn't. I think the reason that he never told Ryan was because he didn't want Ryan to investigate. He didn't want Ryan to start digging around, and find out the truth."

"Who exactly do you think her mother is?"

"An undercover agent, or maybe an important member of the military. She could be a spy, or a diplomat. I don't know who it is, but I am going to find out."

"Let it go," she begs.

"I can't."

"This is not your battle to fight. If Ryan wants to ask those kinds of questions, he can, but you can't."

"Aren't you even curious what she's like? Don't you want to meet her? Why don't you care?"

"I just want to go to sleep."


	5. A Secret Revealed

She looks up from the autopsy table in front of her. The table is empty, as the double doors swing open. She finds a familiar figure walking towards her.

"What are you doing here so early on a Saturday morning?" Lanie questions.

"I could ask you the same thing. We don't have a case," he points out.

"I am just finishing up on another case."

"Can I buy you breakfast?"

"Javi, I can't keep doing this. I can't constantly wonder where our relationship is going, or if we even have one. I need something more."

"I totally understand that, and I agree with you. I have been distant at times. I haven't put fourth the kind of effort required to make this work. My behavior has been completely unfair to you. Lanie, I want to apologize. I just need you to know that I do want this."

"Then what is stopping you? Why do you always put the brakes on when you even catch a glimpse of this being serious?"

"Because I haven't been entirely honest with you. There is something that I need to tell you. I need you to let me explain before you start jumping to conclusions."

"Okay," she agrees.

"Lanie to be perfectly honest you are not the only girl in my life. I know how bad that sounds, but it isn't what you think."

"I am trying not to jump to conclusions."

"There is another girl in my life, and she is the reason that I have been hesitant to let you get too close. I was afraid that you would find out the truth, and run."

"Because you have been seeing someone else? How long has there been someone else?"

"I haven't been seeing someone else."

"How long?"

"Thirteen years, before we ever even crossed paths."

"Thirteen years? Javi, who is she?"

"It isn't a woman. Look, Lanie the reason I haven't let this get serious isn't because I was afraid of hurting you. I was afraid that when you found out you wouldn't understand. I was afraid that you would walk away. I couldn't take the risk that you would come into our live, and hurt both of us. I was just trying to protect her. I am sorry that I never told you, but I am telling you now."

"Telling me what?"

"Lanie, I have a thirteen year old daughter, her name is Sydney."

"What?!"

"She is the reason that I always put the brakes on. I didn't want her to get attached to you. I didn't want to risk her getting hurt. I hope you understand."

"You're telling me that you have a daughter?"

"Yes," he nods.

"And you have never, once mentioned her? How am I supposed to believe any of this?"

"Because it's the truth."

"Why would you keep that from me?"

"I was afraid of what might happen. My life with my daughter is complicated. I want more than anything to protect her from the world. For so long she has been my entire world."

"What's her name?"

"Sydney," he smiles.

"Sydney? How do I know that you're telling the truth?"

He smiles at her, and holds out his index finger, insisting that she wait. He exits the double doors, and returns with a bright eyed thirteen year old. Her hair is in a french braid, and she's dressed in sneakers, a pair of jeans, and a hooded sweatshirt. Sydney stops in front of Lanie. She smiles, and holds out her hand.

"Dr. Parrish, I'm Sydney, it's nice to finally meet you."

Lanie shakes her hand, "I wish that I had gotten to meet you sooner, Sydney."

"He is afraid that I am made of porcelain, and I might break," Sydney jokes.

"I'm starving, have the two of you eaten?" Lanie questions.

"No," Sydney shakes her head.

"So will you take me up on my offer?" Javier questions.

"Breakfast would be nice," she nods.

* * *

Beckett comes out of the bathroom, after her shower, fully dressed. She looks at Castle, who sits on the bed, holding her phone.

"What are you doing?" she cocks an eyebrow.

"Lanie sent you a message while you were in the bathroom."

"So you thought that it would be okay to look at through phone?!"

"I didn't look through your phone. I just looked at the message. I thought maybe she was texting about a murder."

"Was she?"

"Nope."

"So, can I have my phone back?"

"She sent you a message about Sydney."

"Who?"

"Javier's daughter."

"She knows?"

"Apparently she just found out, and she sent a picture of Sydney, and Espo eating breakfast," he hands the phone to her.

She briefly glances at the picture, "So?"

"She looks like him."

"What did you expect?"

"For you to be more shocked. I chalked up your utterly ambivalent attitude the other night to the fact that you were tired. Yet today when the subject is brought up, again, you still seem ambivalent."

"Are you accusing me of something?"

"How long have you known?"

"Known, what?"

"You have known about her all along, haven't you? That is why you aren't surprised, or outraged, or betrayed. You knew."

"So, what if I did?"

"Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Because when someone tells me something in confidence I have the ability to keep a secret, even if it is from you."

"It just doesn't make any sense. I know that Esposito has known you longer, but Ryan is his partner. It doesn't make sense that he would tell you, and then never tell his partner. It seems like a double standard."

"Ryan told you," she reminds him.

"He told Esposito that I already knew, which I did."

"I didn't tell anyone," she points out.

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not? Rick he didn't want me to tell anyone."

"Something is amiss here."

"Rick, you are reading way too much into his."

"Am I?" He cocks his eyebrow.


	6. Frustration

While Beckett is in the other room, Castle finds himself staring at the picture on her phone. He studies the girl very carefully. He is so entranced in thought that he doesn't hear her enter the room. She stops at the kitchen island, next to his stool. She clears her throat.

"Castle, what are you doing? Why do you have my phone again?"

He relinquishes it to her, "I'm sorry."

"What were you doing?"

"Just looking at the text Lanie sent."

"Why?"

"Something isn't right. None of this makes any sense. Why would 'Sito hide this?"

"Castle I think you should stop obsessing about this. None of this is any of your business."

"Why do you care if I obsess about this?"

"I don't... I just think that Javier deserves some privacy. He did not invite you to interfere in his life."

"I'm not interfering. I am just curious."

"And your curiosity always leads to interference."

"And so what if it does?"

"Castle this isn't a murder investigation where your annoying obsessing will lead us to solving the case. This isn't a case, this is someone's life."

"I will stop obsessing if you answer one question."

"Okay," she nods in agreement.

"Where is her mother?"

She shakes her head, and glares at him in contempt, "I can't answer that."

"Because you don't know?"

"Because it isn't any of your business."

"Then I guess I will just have to ask Javi."

"You don't have to ask him anything. Rick he isn't going to tell you."

"Because it's not any of my business?"

"Exactly!"

He continues, "Or because he's trying to protect her?"

"Protect her from what?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. If he isn't trying to protect her then why hasn't he mentioned her. Why hasn't he said who she is?"

"I don't know. Maybe he is trying to protect his daughter."

"From her own mother?"

"From the world."

"Which part of it?"

"Rick! I don't know! Please stop asking. Can we end this conversation, please?"

"Why are you so angry at me?"

She shakes her head, and heads for the door, "I can't talk about this anymore."

"Where are you going?"

* * *

She sits on the couch in his apartment. She watches as his daughter leaves the room, and heads to her bedroom. She turns to the dark eyed heartthrob, and wonders if she should ask the question on her mind.

"Lanie?"

"Yes?"

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," she lies.

"Something is on your mind," he points out.

"Maybe."

"So what is it?"

"Can I ask you something?" She wonders.

"Of course."

"Where is her mother?"

"Not here."

"Among the living, or just not present in the physical sense?"

"The second one."

"So why haven't either of you mentioned her?"

"We both have a pretty strained relationship with her mother."

"Why? We don't have to talk about this, if you don't want to."

"I don't think that Sydney's mom was ready for all of the responsibilities that came with a child."

"Then why did she have her?"

"I pushed her into it."

"Oh."

"Sydney was a surprise, and I didn't know that I would feel the way I did about becoming a father. From the second I knew about her I knew that I wanted her. I made that very clear to her mother."

"You're saying that you swayed her decision?"

He shrugs, "I am saying that it's possible."

"So does Sydney see her?"

"Not as often as she would like."

"So why didn't things work between the two of you?"

"We both just wanted different things. She wasn't ready to settle down."

"How long were you with her?"

He rolls his eyes, "Like a minute. We were together long enough to have Sydney, and that was about it."

"How old was Sydney when her mother left?"

"It's complicated," he explains.

"How old?"

"Her mom has always been around. She sees Syndey, but I have always been the primary parent."

"Javi, how old?"

"I don't want you to think that she is a monster, she just wasn't ready."

"How old?"

"She was a week and a half old."

"How could she leave a brand new baby?"

"I think she was just scared."

"So she left you with a week and a half old baby?"

"After a day she came back, but things were never the same between us. I just couldn't trust her. I was afraid that she wouldn't stick around."

"Obviously she didn't."

"When things ended between us she took Sydney for a while, but it was just too much for her."

"What do you mean too much for her?"

"Sydney was so small, and she was used to me putting her to bed. When she was with her mom she would cry all night. Finally her mom decided that it was best for her to live with me."


	7. Walking Away

Hours later he goes into his daughter's room to check on her. It's late, and he wants to be certain that she's in bed. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, and leans forward to kiss her on the cheek. All he finds is a pillow. He flips on the lamp sitting on the bedside stand, next to him. The light illuminates the fact that she isn't in her bed. He takes a deep breath, and vows not to panic. He exits the room, and heads to the bathroom, thinking she may be there. He finds the bathroom empty, too.

"Syndey?" He calls out, knowing there aren't many places to hide. He opens the linen closet, and finds nothing but linens. He pulls out his phone, and dials her number. He can hear her phone ringing from it's resting spot on his couch. He hangs up, and dials her mother's number, even thought it's after midnight.

She rolls over, towards the sound of her ringing phone. She grabs it off the nightstand, and pulls it to her ear.

"Hello?" she answers half asleep.

"Please tell me that you have Sydney?"

She slides out of bed, "What are you talking about?"

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm at my place, why?"

"I can't find her."

"Javi, what do you mean, you can't find her?" She heads to her closet.

"I don't know where she is. She's not here. Her phone is laying on the couch, and she didn't leave a note. Please tell me that you have her."

"Why would I have her?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

"I wouldn't take her without your permission, in the middle of the night."

"You wouldn't take her if she begged you to."

"Javi!"

"Can we not argue about this right now? Whether or not you're concerned, I want to find my daughter.

"I don't have her."

"I don't know why I even bothered calling you, it's not like you care."

"Javi that is a low blow. I am getting dressed now, I'll be over in a few minutes."

"Whatever," he hangs up.

She pulls on the first clothes that she finds, and exits her room. She pulls her hair into a ponytail, and heads down the hallway. She stops in the kitchen, and flips on the light, to locate her car keys. She hears rustling behind her. She turns, and looks towards the living room. She steps out of the kitchen into the living room. She finds Sydney asleep on her couch. She squats next to the couch. She kisses Sydney's forehead.

"Syd what are you doing here?"

Sydney opens her eyes, and looks at her, "What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"Sometimes," Sydney responds.

"Sydney why are you here? You are supposed to be with your dad."

"You're angry?"

"I'm not angry, I just don't understand what you're doing here."

"I'll leave if you want me to. I didn't know that you were going to be here."

"How did you get here?"

"I took the bus."

"In the middle of the night? Why?"

"It doesn't matter, I should go," she answers, sitting up.

"And why are you on the couch instead of in your room?"

"Because it's full of boxes."

"I'm sorry. I'll drive you home, just let me call your dad first, and tell him that I found you."

"Why bother?"

"Calling him? Sydney you scared him. He woke up in the middle of the night, and you weren't in your bed."

"I meant why bother driving me home? It's not like you care what happens to me."

"Sydney where is this coming from?"

"Everything, and everyone in your life is more important than I am. I am lucky if I see you once a week."

"Sydney why did you come here, if you didn't know I was home?"

"I just wanted to be here. I knew that you wouldn't come get me. I just missed you, and so I thought if..."

"Why didn't you just say that?"

"Because you never listen. You never pay any attention to what I want. You do whatever you want for yourself, all of the time. I am just an afterthought. I am an inconvenient part of your life that you don't want to deal with."

"That isn't true," she argues.

"Yes it is. When was the last time you spent more than a couple of hours with me?"

"I have been really busy with work."

"You always have excuses. I don't know what I was thinking. I should go home, where I belong. At least dad wants me."

"Sydney!"

Her daughter stares back at her with dark eyes, "You never wanted me. You walked away from me every chance that you had."

"Sydney that is not true."

"Yes, it is," Sydney argues as tears start to fall from her eyes.

"I am sorry that you feel that way. I know that I have made mistakes, but I love you, and I have always wanted you."

"But you don't make me feel that way. You're never around."

"Sydney you always act completely miserable when you're with me. You are the one who wanted to live with your dad."

"I was a baby."

"You are the one who never wants to be around me."

"Mom that isn't true."

"Why don't you go back to sleep, and I'll call your dad? I'll drop you off in the morning, okay?"

"That's it? We're not going to talk about this anymore?"

"It is almost two o'clock in the morning."

"Whatever."

"Sydney don't act like that."

"Like what? How am I supposed to act? You don't have time to be bothered with me."

"That's not true."


	8. All These Things That I've Done

"Sydney I am sorry that I've disappointed you. Things are just very complicated right now."

"I want to go home," Sydney insists.

"It's late. Why don't you stay?"

"You don't want me here."

"I do want you here. I'll make you breakfast in the morning."

"Why does it have to be like this?" Sydney questions.

"You know why."

"Why can't we just be a normal family?"

"Sydney, one day you are going to understand."

"But not today," she shakes her head.

She plants a kiss on her forehead, "Goodnight. I love you."

* * *

When she drops Sydney off to Javier, she makes a beeline for her bedroom. She slams the door behind her. Javier looks at Sydney's mother, waiting for an explanation.

"I'm sorry."

"I am not the one that you should be apologizing to," Javier tells her.

"I know."

"She wants her mother. She needs you in her life."

"I know."

"Why can't you just be there for her?"

"You know why."

"K, you're here now. Just be here for her. Look, if you want to take some time to spend with her, I completely understand. You know that I am flexible. I will do whatever best suits my daughter."

"Do you really think that I don't want to do what's best for my daughter?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. Do you?"

"That has been all I have ever wanted."

"Then you should try to prove that to her."

"Javi, you know that things aren't that simple."

"I think that it is pretty simple. She is your daughter, and she needs her mother. How much more simple can it get?"

"We have a complicated relationship."

"That is because you never try to work on it. You are too self-involved to see that she needs you."

"I know that she needs you."

"Why is this so hard for you? Why is it so hard for you just to be her mother?"

"Maybe I'm just afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"I don't want to lose her."

"You aren't going to lose her. We're not going anywhere. You know that I am never going to keep her from seeing you, no matter how much I want to."

"What if she loses me? I don't want her to..."

"You are here now. There is no reason for you to put distance between the two of you, because of something that could possibly happen way in the future."

"I don't want to break her heart," she explains.

"You already are. She worships you, and you can barely give her the time of day."

"Javi, I know that I haven't been around as much as I should have."

"No, you haven't."

"It wasn't my choice."

"Yes it was. You chose to stay in. You chose to continue to leave her. That was your choice."

"But I didn't have any control over it. You don't have any idea how guilty I feel every damn day, knowing that I chose to go back. I made a stupid choice out of fear. I was afraid that I was never going to be good enough to be her mother. For the past fifteen years there has been one thing that I know I am good at. When I came home I thought that she didn't need me. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"

"No, Kelly I don't. You shouldn't either, because she does need you. Every single day she needs you, and you're not around. No matter how good I am as her father, I am never going to be her mother. There are just some things that she is never going to be able to talk to me about."

"I have four months left on my contract."

"Didn't you take a post here?"

She breaks eye contact, and says nothing.

"Kelly?"

"I did."

"You changed you mind? Is that what you're telling me? Is that what this is all about?"

"I didn't change my mind. You know how it is."

"I gave that life up. I wanted to be a father to our daughter. I wanted to be around to see her grow up. Why do you think that I didn't re-enlist when my time was up? I am never understand how you could go back when you knew she was at home waiting for you."

"Because I was young, I didn't know how to be her mother. The army was the only thing that I knew. Most of my life I have been running, and..."

"It has finally caught up with you? Kelly you can't run from her, she's your daughter."

"I know that. I don't want to run from her. I want to be here for her. I want to see her every single day, and fix the mess that I have made."

"But?"

"In the back of my mind I worry. I think about the phone call that will take me away from her, again."

"Just enjoy the time that you have with her now. You could try to make an effort."

"I am supposed to leave next week," she reveals.

"To go where?"

"That's classified."

He shakes his head in disbelief, "Don't feed me that bullshit, Kel. Tell me."

"I can't."

"I have a right to know."

"Javi, I don't know. All I know is that..." she trails off.

He picks up on what she's not saying, "It's dangerous?"

"Yes," she nods in confirmation.

"You're worried?"

"Yeah."

"You never worry. You're fearless."

She shakes her head, "It's different this time."

"Why?"

"It's a very complex mission. I don't know if we can pull it off."


	9. Suspicious Minds

He stares at the tall, dark haired, government issue, woman standing in front of him. He can see the fear, and uncertainty in her eyes. Even though she is dressed in civilian clothes some habits die hard. She stands like a soldier. Her hair is neatly secured in a tight French braid.

"Did you tell her?"

"I couldn't."

"You have to."

"I don't know how to. It never gets easier. It ends the same every time."

"You have to tell her."

"I will."

"You're leaving?" He guesses.

"I have a lot to get done before I go."

"What about Sydney?"

"I told her I'd take her to the movies tomorrow night. I'll pick her up from school."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Do you mind if she stays the night at my place?"

"Not if that's what she wants."

"Okay. I'll see you," she turns, and heads for the door.

* * *

Kate sits at a booth in a diner near her apartment. Her lips crawl into a smile as someone slides in the booth across the table from her.

"I ordered ice cream sundaes."

"I'm not really hungry," Sydney admits.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lies.

Kate studies her facial expression, "Something," she disagrees.

"Why doesn't she..."

"Sydney I know that things are complicated with your mom, but..."

"Don't defend her," Sydney insists.

"I'm not."

"It sounds like you are," Sydney argues.

"I heard that you snuck out of your room, and caught a bus across town in the middle of the night."

"Of course you did," she rolls her eyes.

"Just because you are angry doesn't mean you can runaway."

"What choice did I have? She's never around."

"You could have called her."

"I did."

"Sydney what do you want me to say?"

"That you agree with me, and she's wrong."

"I do agree with you. She needs to be more available to you. She is your mother."

"She doesn't act like it. She never has time for me. Sometimes it's like I don't even exist. I feel like the only thing she has room for in her life is the army."

"You know that isn't true."

"How? How can I know that?"

"She loves you."

"You know that she's wrong, don't you?"

"I..."

"Don't act as if you don't. I know how you feel about her. When was the last time that you even spoke to her?"

"I don't think that is relevant."

"You know she's leaving, again."

"She told you that?"

"I overheard her telling dad."

"Maybe you just thought that's what you heard. Maybe you took what she said out of context."

"No, I heard the entire conversation."

"Where is she going, now?"

"She wouldn't say."

"Sydney what is it that you want me to do, exactly?"

"Nothing. There isn't anything that you can do. You can't make her want to be my mom. You can't make her want me."

"I know that she wants you."

"How? I barely see her, or hear from her. She left me more times than I can count. She walked away from me. What makes you think that she wants me?"

"I just do."

* * *

When she enters the apartment Castle is waiting on her. He eyes her suspiciously. She joins him in the kitchen as he dices some tomatoes for dinner.

"Are you hungry?" He questions.

"Yeah, it smells good," she fibs about her appetite.

"So the ice cream sundae that you just had didn't ruin your appetite?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"You were spying on me?"

"I had to know."

"Had to know what? There is nothing to know. Rick you have crossed a line. If you wanted to know something you should have just asked."

"You wouldn't tell me!"

"Because not everything is your business."

"So when you have ice cream sundaes with Javier's daughter, that isn't my business?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"It was pretty obvious to me that you two know each other pretty well."

"Castle I have known her since the day that she was born."

"Why didn't you just say that?"

"Because you always twist what I say, and do into something that it's not."

"So let's look at the facts."

"Fine," she stomps.

"You knew Javier had a daughter."

"Yes."

"You have known her since she was born."

"Yes."

"You wouldn't tell me anything about her mother."

"Because it isn't any of your business."

"Or, because you just don't want me to know the truth."

"And what is it that you think that is, exactly?"

"You were afraid knowing the truth would put our relationship in jeopardy."

"Why would the truth put our relationship in jeopardy?"

"Because you're her mother."


End file.
